| Location | Washougal |
| Age | 27 years |
| Cause of Death | Suicide |
| Date of Birth | 05/11/1977 |
| Date of Death | 01/10/2005 |
| Visitors | 1,887 since 05/12/2008 |
| Creator |
There are moments in life when you wish you could bring someone down from heaven.
and spend the day with them . Just one more time, give them one more hug, kiss them goodbye or hear their voice again. One more chance to say I Lover you.
That is what this place is for,, for me.
I never thought it was possible to miss another human being as much as I miss that boy.
His death has left an aching so deep in my soul that no manner of time will erase the pain.
I hope with all my heart and soul that by his passing some of his pain to me,
at the moment he died,
that he has found the peace and serenity
that eluded him while he was here on the earth.
My Gift from God, my beautiful son.
My Brian
My hard to handle one.
Brian IS and always will be part of my life,
I never knew, until a death took me outside
and left me there, how grass lifts so quietly
to catch everything we drop, and we drop everything.
forever missing you
forever loving you
forever
His first word/ His last word
There in the twilight,cold and gray
Lifeless, very still he lay.
Not seeing what I was believing.
I'm ashamed to have to say,
I turned to runaway.
Didn't make it very far,
when his voice fell,
like a falling star.
Knowing he was standing,
right in front of me,
even though I couldn't see.
Turned my head,
seen him still on the bed.
My mind began to bleed,
to much for me to conceive.
He was trying to inject, inside of me,
some peace, some calm I believe.
This golden thread, what he said.
His first word.
My last word, I heard from him.
A little stern with concern,
yet calm like a psalm.
When he said
"Mom"
The Bond
The bond between mother and son is a special one.
It remains unchanged by time or distance.
It is the purest love - unconditional and true.
It is understanding of any situation
and forgiving of any mistake.
Some say it last a life time.
I say - It last beyond.
Sometimes fate is like a small sandstorm that keeps changing directions. You change direction but the sandstorm chases you.
You turn again, but the storm adjusts. Over and over you play this out, like some ominous dance with death just before dawn.
Why? Because this storm isn't something that blew in from far away, something that has nothing to do with you.
This storm is you. Something inside of you. So all you can do is give in to it, step right inside the storm, closing your eyes and plugging up your ears so the sand doesn't get in, and walk through it, step by step. There's no sun there, no moon, no direction, no sense of time. Just fine white sand swirling up into the sky like pulverized bones.
That's the kind of sandstorm you need to imagine.
An you really will have to make it through that violent, metaphysical, symbolic storm. No matter how metaphysical
or symbolic it might be, make no mistake about it: it will cut through flesh like a thousand razor blades.
People will bleed there, and you will bleed too. Hot, red blood.
You'll catch that blood in your hands, your own blood and the blood of others.
And once the storm is over you won't remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won't even be sure, in fact, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm you won't be the same person who walked in.
H.Murakami.
............ƸӜƷ........ƸӜƷ.......
..ƸӜƷ..........ƸӜƷ..........ƸӜƷ
ƸӜƷ................A..............ƸӜƷ
.ƸӜƷ...............N...............ƸӜƷ
...ƸӜƷ.............G.............ƸӜƷ
......ƸӜƷ...........E..........ƸӜƷ
..........ƸӜƷ.......L.......ƸӜƷ
..............ƸӜƷ......ƸӜƷ
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You walked through my world
In this dance we call life
Dancing with me in joy
Dancing with me in strife
You gave me the song
And gave me the chance
To learn about love
When you taught me to dance
It was not just the music
Nor the steps that we made
But now in sweet memories
That never will fade
For love was your music
And life was your song
You taught me the dance
And how to be strong
You showed me what love was
Even in your goodbye
Now we’ve come full circle
In this dance we call life
So, dance with the angels
And may you find rest
Your song’s in my heart
And my life fully blessed
-Allison Chambers Coxsey-
Still, I write under postcard dry sky's
Just in the knowing
your gone
is enough to make anyone curl up in
themselves, turn blind into the night
and sleep till noon
Have to unwind myself,
quit walking in the shallow's
Swim deeper into meaning
let it all go keeping only you
inside my heart
The scream that happened to the air
the night, my Brian died
surrounds me now like a white halo
of hot sand and of no sound.
I Pain
The pain I feel is constant, there have been times
it completely over whelms me.
At these times, I can do nothing. My body trembles with agony
and despair. I feel regret - wishing to the depths of my soul that
I could re-do the yesterday when my Brian died.
I feel intense longing for my child, so intense I can't believe I
can stand it another minute. I feel alone completely alone. It's
as though no one exits but me and this anguish. Between sobs
phrases like, Oh My God, come out of my mouth over and over again.
I feel as though I'm at the bottom of a pit with no way out. I feel
consumed with a indescribable anguish.
As time keeps going on and on. So does my anguish.
In-between the completely over whelming,
Is growing. . . .
In that growing space, my agony is
somewhere behind my lungs, I think,
For I feel it each and every time I breath.
Life Goes On
And life went on, it went on like a strange,
dream like state of altered consciousness,
descending over my eyes,
a forked path denying simple questions.
no door is open or closed anymore.
And now as then,
October is the month of death,
but after October comes November
and life continues, it continues like a strange,
dream like state of altered consciousness.
And it continues still -- This is what is real
My Son
I had a dream of you.
I saw your face upon a cloud of blue.
I knew not what to do
I yelled, I love you.
A kiss you blew, back to me.
It brushed me on my cheek.
I looked at you and you just grinned.
This is how, this day begins. :)
For A Very Special Angel
I.......
________Love You____________Love You
______Love You Love _______Love You Love Yo
____Love You Love You L___Love You Love You L
___Love You Love You Love You Love _______Love
__Love You Love You Love You Love _________Love
_Love You Love You Love You Love You _______Love
_Love You Love You Love You Love You Love______L
Love You Love You Love You Love You Love You__Lov
Love You Love You Love You Love You Love You Lo_L
Love You Love You Love You Love You Love You Love
Love You Love You Love You Love You Love You Love
_Love You Love You Love You Love You Love You Lo
__Love You Love You Love You Love You Love You
____Love You Love You Love You Love You Love Y
______Love You Love You Love You Love You L
_________Love You Love You Love You Love
____________Love You Love You Love Yo
______________Love You Love You Lo
_________________Love You Love
___________________L ove You
____________________ _Love Y
____________________ __Love
____________________ ___Lo
And......
_________Miss You____________Miss You
______Miss You Miss _______Miss You Miss Yo
____Miss You Miss You M___Miss You Miss You M
___Miss You Miss You Miss You Miss _______Miss
__Miss You Miss You Miss You Miss _________Miss
_Miss You Miss You Miss You Miss You _______Miss
_Miss You Miss You Miss You Miss You Miss______M
Miss You Miss You Miss You Miss You Miss You__Mis
Miss You Miss You Miss You Miss You Miss You Mi_M
Miss You Miss You Miss You Miss You Miss You Miss
Miss You Miss You Miss You Miss You Miss You Miss
_Miss You Miss You Miss You Miss You Miss You Mi
__Miss You Miss You Miss You Miss You Miss You
____Miss You Miss You Miss You Miss You Miss Y
______Miss You Miss You Miss You Miss You M
_________Miss You Miss You Miss You Miss
____________Miss You Miss You Miss Yo
______________Miss You Miss You Mi
_________________Mis s You Miss
___________________M iss You
____________________ _Miss Y
____________________ __Miss
____________________ ___Mi
More than you will ever know.
⊱♥⊰ ANGEL WINGS YOU WEAR... ⊱♥⊰~
The day you left broke our hearts
and the tears fell like rain,
but knowing that you now have wings
helps to ease the pain.
⊱♥⊰~⊱♥⊰
We know now when the snow falls
it is Angel dust from you
and when we see a shooting star
our Angel just passed through.
⊱♥⊰~⊱♥⊰
The rain drops do not make us sad
for they are not tears,
but sprinkles of love falling down,
our Angel again is near.
⊱♥⊰~⊱♥⊰
The winter cold has even changed,
Jack Frost no longer exists,
it's now a visit from our Angel
and he's left a special gift.
⊱♥⊰~⊱♥⊰
You also visit in the night,
your wings flutter with grace,
we know now when we awaken
that an Angel has kissed our face.
⊱♥⊰~⊱♥⊰
When the days are warm and bright
and the sun shines from above,
we feel the warmth wrap around us,
you've given an Angel hug.
⊱♥⊰~⊱♥⊰
You are with us at all times,
every day and night,
you try to end the pain we have
and the tears that we still cry.
⊱♥⊰~⊱♥⊰
Though Heaven is your home now
and Angel wings you wear,
you stay close to those you love,
until they join you there.
⊱♥⊰~⊱♥⊰
Written by: Dolly Lee
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